Great Expectations

When I was in my late thirties, I decided that I was old enough to stop wasting time on things that I didn't like, or that had a negative effect on me. I think that was a pretty good philosophy, even if I couldn't follow it perfectly. Now, I am experiencing a conundrum. I am causing a negative effect on me! I can choose to remove myself from people, places and things but I can't figure out how to remove me from me!

Much of the time, I am consumed by one personal disaster or another. It's my weight, face melt, joint problems, or something that I haven't thought of yet. You can see how catastrophic these things are - right? I remember a few weeks ago, there was one night that I couldn't find anything wrong with myself. It made me very paranoid because I thought that I had either missed something or was in total denial.

So, now I'm trying to think up positive affirmations that I can use to rescue me from myself. The first one I think of is "It could be worse." As I think about that, I realize that this is a phrase that could become a self fulfilling prophesy. I don't think I'll use that one.

Then there's "You can't be twenty forever." That's true - but that doesn't make me feel better.

I think I have one that I can work with, "Christie Brinkley has lots of money and lots of time and her looks are her career. You can't possibly expect to look like her at fifty-something on your income!" Now, that helps! This puts it in perspective for me. Few people can afford to spend the amount of time and money required to maintain stunning looks at any age.

"Remember what Jamie Lee Curtis said." This one really helps - she was quoted in an article in MORE magazine that it took a team of people to make her look good and that it was unfair for a typical woman to think that it was just natural. Aha! Here's someone who I should probably use as a model - sort of. We are about the same age and she readily admits that she, along with most women have image issues and those issues grow larger with age! An exerpt can be viewed here: http://www.more.com/more-women/celebrities/jamie-lee-curtis-true-thighs/) and here is another more recent article: http://www.more.com/more-women/celebrities/jamie-lee-curtis-on-growing-older-wiser/.

So the moral is: Do the best with what I have and when I start freaking out - 1) re-read the Jaimie Lee Curtis articles 2) step away from my reflection 3) don't look for the most perfect woman in sight just so I can feel inadequate 4) believe my husband when he says I look great (even if I know he doesn't know what he's talking about) and 5) quit thinking about it!

I can have great expectations, but the reality is that I will probably not work out 3 hours a day, I won't always consume only the foods that are best for me, I will have really bad hair days, the lines on my forehead are not going to just disappear and it really could be worse. When I raise the bar so high it's in the stratosphere, I'm definitely not going to reach it - but then, no one could.

I need to remind myself that I'm just an average woman (okay - I've got a few obsessive quirks) and this is really no big deal! Hmmmm. Keep repeating that over and over.... "it's no big deal...it's no big deal...it's no big deal... Hey! Where are my ruby slippers?!