Fruit & Nuts

Okay, so things are changing again. Not only have I removed all animal proteins from my diet (with the exception of sushi) and tried to eliminate high acid foods, I am now discovering that I may need to eliminate wheat. I Googled some symptoms I was experiencing; the main one being bloating. I found a common thread - wheat.

One source stated that after the age of 40, our digestive systems aren't strong enough to fully digest wheat. I'm not sure I agree with that. Unfortunately, I am experiencing symptoms that cause me to be suspicious of foods containing wheat. Lately, if something can go wrong it will go wrong!

Now, I'm conducting an experiment. I am temporarily removing food that contains wheat from my diet. Do you have any idea how many foods contain wheat?? LOTS! There's pasta, bread, pretzels, cereals, salad dressings, soups, pancakes, waffles, couscous, gravy, miso, muesli, pita bread, semolina, etc... The number of excluded foods in my diet is now higher than the national deficit.

It's been a couple of days and I can already feel the improvement. I'm not sure if that's good news or bad news. The good news is I feel better. The bad news is that I don't have too much left that I can eat.

I thought I'd make the best of it and go to the healthy grocery store (as opposed to the regular grocery store) to buy some gluten free bread. Hah! The store that proclaims organic and healthy has nothing but wheat bread. How disappointing. I bought a pound of unsalted walnuts and left.

For lunch today I had a quarter cup of walnuts and an apple. Oh joy. On the bright side, a quarter cup of walnuts gives me 90% of the omega-3's I need for the day. Walnuts are supposed to be helpful in lowering cholesterol, lowering blood pressure, and they contain a very high concentration of antioxidants. There are so many health benefits associated with walnuts that I can't even list them all. If you are interested, take a look at this article: http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=99. The way it sounds, walnuts are the next best thing to sliced bread...which is a good thing. I can use walnuts as a bread replacement since bread isn't in the list of foods that I can eat!

I'm down to fruit and nuts. Sounds more like my mental state than a food plan . I thought only forest creatures survived on fruit and nuts! There is a site called the Fruit & Nut Research and Information Center for UCDavis http://fruitsandnuts.ucdavis.edu/. There's no restaurant guide. Very disappointing.

We are dining out tonight. Have you ever tried to order from a menu while avoiding, meat, cheese, dairy, wheat, and some other hostile foods? It ain't easy!

Great Expectations

When I was in my late thirties, I decided that I was old enough to stop wasting time on things that I didn't like, or that had a negative effect on me. I think that was a pretty good philosophy, even if I couldn't follow it perfectly. Now, I am experiencing a conundrum. I am causing a negative effect on me! I can choose to remove myself from people, places and things but I can't figure out how to remove me from me!

Much of the time, I am consumed by one personal disaster or another. It's my weight, face melt, joint problems, or something that I haven't thought of yet. You can see how catastrophic these things are - right? I remember a few weeks ago, there was one night that I couldn't find anything wrong with myself. It made me very paranoid because I thought that I had either missed something or was in total denial.

So, now I'm trying to think up positive affirmations that I can use to rescue me from myself. The first one I think of is "It could be worse." As I think about that, I realize that this is a phrase that could become a self fulfilling prophesy. I don't think I'll use that one.

Then there's "You can't be twenty forever." That's true - but that doesn't make me feel better.

I think I have one that I can work with, "Christie Brinkley has lots of money and lots of time and her looks are her career. You can't possibly expect to look like her at fifty-something on your income!" Now, that helps! This puts it in perspective for me. Few people can afford to spend the amount of time and money required to maintain stunning looks at any age.

"Remember what Jamie Lee Curtis said." This one really helps - she was quoted in an article in MORE magazine that it took a team of people to make her look good and that it was unfair for a typical woman to think that it was just natural. Aha! Here's someone who I should probably use as a model - sort of. We are about the same age and she readily admits that she, along with most women have image issues and those issues grow larger with age! An exerpt can be viewed here: http://www.more.com/more-women/celebrities/jamie-lee-curtis-true-thighs/) and here is another more recent article: http://www.more.com/more-women/celebrities/jamie-lee-curtis-on-growing-older-wiser/.

So the moral is: Do the best with what I have and when I start freaking out - 1) re-read the Jaimie Lee Curtis articles 2) step away from my reflection 3) don't look for the most perfect woman in sight just so I can feel inadequate 4) believe my husband when he says I look great (even if I know he doesn't know what he's talking about) and 5) quit thinking about it!

I can have great expectations, but the reality is that I will probably not work out 3 hours a day, I won't always consume only the foods that are best for me, I will have really bad hair days, the lines on my forehead are not going to just disappear and it really could be worse. When I raise the bar so high it's in the stratosphere, I'm definitely not going to reach it - but then, no one could.

I need to remind myself that I'm just an average woman (okay - I've got a few obsessive quirks) and this is really no big deal! Hmmmm. Keep repeating that over and over.... "it's no big deal...it's no big deal...it's no big deal... Hey! Where are my ruby slippers?!

Melting - Not Something I Want to do Right Now

I think faces melt as we age. I'm not sure why this is, but at some point I noticed that my skin looks like it's going to slide off my face. I look in the mirror and see it happening! When I tell my husband about it, he reminds me that I have distorted vision. I think he is just not paying close enough attention.

Now I'm on a mission to find something that will firm up my skin. I create natural skin products, so surely I can find something that firms skin! I found an article that claimed that raw shea butter firms skin (http://www.thehealthyvillage.com/beauty-care/skin-care/africas-miracle-plant-the-untold-story-of-raw-shea.html). So I bought 150 pounds of raw, unrefined shea butter. Do you know how heavy all that shea butter is? Fifty pounds of it came in a shell thing called a gourd or calabash. This stuff is seriously raw. I wonder if it's enough to make my skin firm. Gee, could this be another obsession sprouting?

I've been thinking about how much better I would look if only I could pull the skin on my jaw tighter, lift the skin on my cheek bones, get rid of the lines on my forehead, and somehow straighten my hair! Well, I have the hair part covered, I got a 2" Chi flat iron and problem is solved. The rest of it isn't so easy.

After a little more consideration, it occurred to me that I am AGING!! Oh NO! Okay, so here's where the 150 pounds of raw shea butter comes in. I'm not going to have cosmetic surgery....yet. I really hate sharp metal objects, but I'm afraid that if this face melt gets bad enough, I may put myself in a position to have to face that fear. Vanity is a tough task master [sigh] . So, my thought is that I'm going to do my best to protect me from my vain self. I have decided to conduct a test using raw shea butter. For the next 30 days, I'm going to use raw shea butter on my face each night. After 30 days, if the skin on my face has become more firm, I'll be adding raw unrefined shea butter to my product list! If not, I'll probably just have really soft skin on my face.

My husband never fails to remind me that as people get older they change, they look different, and they show their age. Well, DUH! I don't want to do that! How hard is that to understand?

I also try to take really good care of all the rest of my skin. I use this African black soap that is natural and made of shea butter. Interestingly, it's very brown and when I use it, it looks like I am putting foaming mud on my skin. My skin is very dry and sometimes it itches so bad that I will scratch my legs until they bleed. Since I have been using the African black soap, the itching and dryness has gotten so much better. It took about a month of using it before I could see and feel the improvement. Now, I carry it as one on of the products available through TRC.

So, back to the current battle which is the battle against face melt. The next 30 days will tell if I've found a way to stop and possibly reverse the melt. I wonder if raw shea butter does anything for weight management...hmmm.....

Fix & Repair

Have you ever had a car that runs like a top for years, then suddenly starts needing things. Brakes, exhaust, water pump, you know - one thing after another. That car that was such a gem turns into a bit of a money pit. You just know it's time to get a new car because you'll end up sinking money into a lost cause. Well, I sort of feel like that about myself. It's just not possible to go out and get a new body...at least not yet. So, I'm sinking money into this one since it has now started needing things.

One of my repairs has to do with braces. In my mouth. At my age. I don't know what I was thinking! I don't really mind this one, even though it's pretty expensive. I have a couple of teeth that are a little crooked - not bad - but I would like them fixed. My dentist suggested braces. I immediately thought of all that metal in my mouth and promptly dismissed the idea. This is the year I'm turning 50! I don't want to have a mouth full of braces.

I did a little research. I found Invisalign (www.invisalign.com). Now, that's something I can do! If you haven't heard of Invisalign - picture this: You put clear plastic "covers" over your teeth that have been made just for you. There are twenty or thirty of these "covers" (they are really called aligners) and you put a different one in every couple of weeks. You start out with one that is shaped slightly different than your mouth, this begins the aligning process. With each tray, your teeth move a little more. When you get to the last tray, the alignment is done! Wow, pretty cool! I will be getting my aligners in a couple of weeks!

The aligners have to be worn 22 hours a day. I will be able to take them out to eat, to brush my teeth, or drink coffee - as long as I have them in 22 hours. These are the kind of braces that I can do. I met a woman who was wearing them and I couldn't tell she had them on even when she told me she was wearing them - that's pretty amazing.

I believe that these braces will be a good move for me in more ways than one. I have heard that it hurts to have teeth straightened. My husband had braces for seven years when he was a kid and he says that even without the metal, my mouth is going to be sore. I am thinking that this is a good thing. It will be like automatic weight management! What a deal! I get my teeth straightened AND won't be able to eat very well. What a great side effect!

Notice that segue into weight? You didn't actually think that I was going to write something and not mention weight did you??? How can I possibly ignore something when I'm obsessed over it? I would be doing my obsession an injustice if I didn't even mention weight.

Okay - back to the braces. Because I'm so self conscious (let's be honest - it's really vanity), I couldn't imagine dealing with metal braces in my mouth. The thought also gives me claustrophobia - they are cemented on, aren't they? I would'nt be able to take them off. It would be like wearing the same outfit every day for a year!

So, I'm a fan of doing something good for myself that isn't visible. At least not visible in a bad way. Funny thing is - when other people wear braces, I don't even notice it. I only notice things that are on me....like weight (there goes that obsession again).

Just When I Got It - I Got More

So, finally I thought I had it all figured out. My weight was okay (not great but tolerable). My joints didn't hurt, I exercised and things were going along fairly well even if my taste buds weren't always pleased. Then, I got more. I could have handled getting more of many things but weight was not on my list of acceptable things to have more of. It didn't matter what I thought - I got it anyway.

Now I understand the term "the battle of the bulge." This version is not referring to the awful battle in WWII, it is all about the awful battle that is raging between my skin and bones - the fat war. I think there should be a fat exterminator. Oh that's right - there is - it's called liposuction. Change of Topic: Do you know that it can take 8 - 10 weeks for swelling to go down following a liposuction procedure. That's 2 - 2.5 months! Heck, a person could gain back the amount that was sucked out in that time span. I checked out some "before and after" pictures on liposuction.com. Some of the before/afters were pretty impressive. Although, I did see one that looked better before and quite a few that didn't look much different after. That's a lot to go through for results that may or may not be noticed. Yikes!

I started thinking about liposuction after I started wondering if it would be possible to cut fat off my body. Now, I have an aversion to sharp metal objects puncturing my skin and forced fat removal always includes scalpels, needles and some weird vacuum cleaner thing. I'll stick to my guilt induced exercise (the exercise equipment is breathing a sigh of relief - they thought they were going to have to find new homes). So surgical removal of fat is out of the question.

I contemplated eating cessation. That lasted all of 10 hours. My problem is, I get hungry after going without food all day. I guess that's by design so we don't accidentally starve to death. I'm thinking that temporary anorexia has its benefits - but that didn't get any votes from my husband. So, now I needed to find low calorie, high protein, high in nutrition vegan food. Hmmmm... and only eat that....NOT. I can find a few things. Change of Topic: did you know that a serving of green beans is only 20 calories?! I was so excited when I found that out. Green beans are really a pretty good deal. You spend 20 calories and you get 0g fat, 4g carbs, 2g fiber, no sugar to speak of, 1g protein and some vitamins and minerals. Did I mention that these are unsalted green beans? The green beans began to lose some of their luster when I realized that I would have to eat 47 servings of unsalted green beans just to get enough protein for one day. That's only 940 calories, but it is also 11.75 cups of green beans! So, if I ate an entire #10 can of green beans (which holds 6 lbs 2 oz - 7 lbs 5 oz) I would consume enough protein. The downside is, I wouldn't get enough other nutrients and I would eat at least 6 lbs of food that day. I don't care if that's only 940 calories - 6 lbs is 6 lbs!

Now where was I? Oh yes - I remember. The food thing was just too convoluted, so I called a nutritionist. I am now working with a nutritionist to find out what I can eat, what I should eat and what I need to stay away from. She showed up with this scale that measures weight, hydration, and body fat. I don't know my weight because I made her promise not to tell me. She did tell me that my body fat was 5% below average for my age. I hate that "for my age" part. I am also a little dehydrated. The nutritionist is fascinating. She reviewed all the vitamins and supplements I take and suggested removing a couple and also added one or two. She gave me a book with my nutritional Rx in it. My first one is to make sure that the sodium level in the food I eat is below 15% of the daily requirement. I am also supposed to eat berries and "skin on" fruits. I keep a food journal that contains more than just what I ate. I have to write down my exercise, how I feel after eating, what my hunger level is 6 times a day and a couple of other things. This is interesting.

I've given up and asked for help from a professional. It's probably a much better idea than temporary anorexia, carving off fat, or living on water and popcorn. We shall see how this goes. At least I'm not making food rules based on, what my husband calls, distorted and obsessive thinking . Oh - and I did have to admit to the nutritionist that I am totally obsessed over my weight. She said that she appreciated that I wasn't hiding from the truth - hmmm...she had only known me for an hour and a half...what do you think that means????

To Be or Not To Be...In Pain

Did you ever really think about your ankles? Have you contemplated knees, hips, or any other bendable part of your body? I can't say I thought about them too much unless I was injured in some way. That was true until I was tortured by joint pain.

I had managed to bring my weight back to where I wanted it. I was feeling pretty good about everything and then it happened. One morning I got out of bed and nearly fell on my face. My ankles hurt so bad I couldn't stand up. I had to wait for my ankles to wake up enough to support my weight - at least that's what it felt like. Not long after I got used to NOT standing up when I tried to get out of bed, my knees started in - then my hips - and my elbows and...oh you get the idea.

Arthritis? My grandma had rheumatoid arthritis - could I have it too? I became convinced that I must have it or something equally as bad. Nothing seemed to help. My husband had to help me stand up and sit down. This was absolutely aggravating. I was also convinced it was age induced. My body didn't like getting older anymore than I did and it was rebelling!

My husband didn't buy the rebelious body idea. He researched while I fumed. He came up with the idea that I needed a higher alkaline level in my body and a much lower acid level. Yeah right, me and the gold fish. It turned out that he was right. He bought me books on the alkaline diet. Do you have any idea what it's like to give up 90 percent of all the foods available on earth?! It's not in the least bit interesting. I did it.

Then I had to tell my husband that he was right...out loud. I managed to bring my alkaline level up and the acid level down. After a couple of months my joints no longer caused me pain. Of course, my taste buds were the ones rebelling now. I had to give up all animal protiens which meant no meat, no butter, no cheese, no milk, no eggs, no fish, and NO CRAB LEGS! There are many other foods that are banned, such as anything with white flour, any sugar, wine or cocktails, sodas, and many other things. Suddenly, I found myself having to count protein grams, carb grams, sugar, fiber, calories and other nutrients I never knew existed. This was not fun.

I went from a confirmed carnivore to a very reluctant vegan. I now drink soy or almond milk - unsweetened and unflavored. I eat veggie cheese, veggie hotdogs, veggie sausage, veggie burgers and whatever I can find. The upside is that Indian food is perfect for this diet and I love Indian food! I learned to make chapati bread, curried chick peas, and other wonderful dishes I heard about from one of my best friends who is Indian and a fantastic cook. I started making humus once a week using different spices and ingrediants. I developed a real liking for humus sandwiches.

The bottom line is that I learned to eat to maintain myself instead of to enjoy myself. I guess that's a good thing. I've heard that it's a good thing. My taste buds are not convinced and I'm never happy when I have to bypass crab legs. I did find out from my doctor that giving up animal proteins can eliminate many physical problems. It's true for me. I have to say that I advocate vegetarianism if not full blown veganism because I do feel better. It may not be the lifestyle for everyone, but if you are "of that certain age" and find yourself with joint problems, check it out. Have you acid levels checked. High acid levels contribute to joint problems and I can vouch for the benefit of lowering those levels!

Today, my taste buds may not be happy all the time, but my joints give me no problems.

Work Out - Not That Again!

Now, where was I? Oh, yes - weight gain - ugh! Following weight gain, there is the mandatory life style change that incorporates working out. What a total pain.

Workouts at this age require a lot more time and effort than they used to. Remember when you could get a pretty good workout just by reading about it? Those days are gone! Workouts at this age mean that you are going to have to dedicate lots of time to exercise. More time than you can tolerate - unless you're a fitness nut - then this is going to be the best time of your life.

I started out by using an elliptical machine every other day. This is hard work. I noticed that if I spent the same amount of time on a treadmill, I found the elliptical gave me a much better workout. So, I did that. I exercised and kept my daily calorie intake at about 1200 calories. It was not fun. The only thing worse I could think of was the weight gain. What a vicious cycle.

Another thing I did was pick up a Pilate's ring, resistance bands, a mat, hand and ankle weights, and a series of workout videos from the Firm. The purpose of this paraphernalia is to generate guilt whenever you see them - so they must be in an prominent location in order to generate the amount of guilt needed to cause actual exercise to occur.

So begins the workout ball and chain. Each day I need to figure out when I can workout, arrange my schedule so I don't miss the workout, and then actually work out. It's a tough life I lead. Missing a workout can cause immediate and unrelenting fear, guilt and paranoia. I become afraid that I will instantly gain 20 lbs after missing the workout. I feel guilty for not using any of the number of exercise machines and items that are readily available. I also become paranoid that I will have to answer for missing the workout. Now, who in the world am I going to have to answer to, other than myself?! Like I said, it's an exercise ball and chain.

I am totally bored when I exercise. I do not find it stimulating. The best thing about it is that eventually, it will be over. Due to this, I have many guilt inducing items in my home. In addition to the things I've already mentioned is a Bowflex, a stair stepper (that hasn't been stepped on in ages - but it induces guilt so it stays), a treadmill, jump rope, and a few other types of weights. Where ever I go in my house, I am faced with something that is going to remind me to work out.

Once the workout thing got to be a routine, a new complication arose - joint problems! I'll get into that next time - but this problem caused the biggest and most frustrating lifestyle change of all!

The 'W' Word

Okay - so our jeans get a little tight...no big deal. These things happen occasionally and then we go back to normal. Well, when the part about going back to normal stops happening you are on the road to 50! It happened to me at 44 - bad year that one.

I was baffled. I just knew there was something dreadfully wrong with me. I mean really, what horrible disease must I have to make my body turn on me this way?? When I started researching, I found out that when you have a disease, you're probably going to lose weight not gain it (sigh). So much for that. Did that mean I was in an unhealthy state of healthy??

Seriously, it took me a couple of years to figure out how to deal with the chronic weigh issues. In the meantime, I went from 115 lbs to 150 at my highest. I know this is going to sound really melodramatic, but it was the worst time of my life. I felt like I was stuck in a foreign body and I couldn't get out.

What did I do? I tried eating less. Then eating less than that. Then eating even less. The doctor just told me that I was older and I need to consume fewer calories. It was baffling. How could being older cause these problems!?

I got a lot of advice like: "This is it - get used to it" and "At your age, be happy you don't have to worry about looking good anymore" and "Why are you worried - you're married." That didn't help. Then there was the all time winner (this was said when I was 30 lbs heavier than I had ever been) "Oh, I don't think you look any different than you looked at 25." I nearly shot myself (laugh).

I read books on weight. I read books on perimenopause. I read books on exercise. I tried all sorts of things but nothing changed. Then I developed an alergic reaction and had to take steroids - eeeek! Do you know that those things make you swell up like a balloon??? I quit taking them.

Finally, out of desperation, I tried Nutrisystems. That worked. Why? Because I didn't have to figure anything out. I didn't have to know how much to eat. They just sent me the food and I ate it. I learned something from that. I realized that prior to the Year of Bad Tidings (when I was 44), I ate a lot. There were no consequences, so I didn't think about it until I was presented with appropriate portion sizes. Looking back, I see that I probably ate five or ten times more than what is "appropriate." It turned out that I had just been lucky for most of my life. As I ate better and worked out (we'll talk about that in another blog) and I was able to tolerate myself.

I have learned that some foods are the enemy. They are: bread, sugar, refined flour, chips, and sodas. There are some friends in the food world, though they are rare. The freindly foods are: water (yes, I know that's not technically a food - but it is my best friend), fresh vegetables, fresh fruits, humus and salmon. If I remember nothing else, I remember PORTION CONTROL. This was a life style that was really difficult. One tip: carrot chips and homemade humus are great staples to have in the fridge.

My first lesson on this road to fifty was that I can't eat the way I used to. Of course, the lessons were only beginning. I'm glad I didn't know that then!

The Journey Begins

If you are one of us, you know - one of "those women of a certain age" - you may want to join me in the journey I'm on. I will be talking about all the things I'm doing to deal with turning 50. It could become pretty intense the closer I get. I'm going to be 50 but I am determined to feel ageless and hopefully look the way I want to look.

It's going to happen in August. I have requested a huge birthday party. One that I don't have to do any work for! I want to have it in Union Station in Nashville. Okay - I know that's a bit extravagant - but hey - I have to balance out the fact that I've already gotten two invitations to join AARP - YIKES!

I'm usually pretty private and introverted - but at this time in my life I realize that it's no fun getting older and I'm not going to do it alone! Who was it that said "You're not getting older, you're getting better?" It was a commercial - I know it was - only someone in marketing could come up with such a ridiculous statement . If anyone knows what commercial that was, send me an email.

So, I've been working on myself during the last few years. My body has become a hostile entity and isn't behaving the way it's supposed to. I've been told that happens to everyone - but I'm taking this very personally! It may happen as early as your thirtys or it can happen, as it did to me, in your fortys. It doesn't really matter when it happens - the fact that it DOES happen is simply too aggravating for words. It begins with weight. Yes that horrible 'W' word - the one that we despise. Naturally, it's never a problem with weight loss - it's always weight gain - ugh!

Weight gain...is there a way to handle that one? In my next installment I'll share some of my trials and errors in that area. If you have any topics you want to hear about or products you would like to know about, drop me an email. I'll be happy to expand on a topic or try a product. I've become pretty adventerous lately.