Stress

Yesterday, one of my friends asked me how I deal with stress.  I'm pretty sure she didn't ask because I'm the picture of cool, calm and collected.  She asked because there is and has been so much duress involved with having and being treated for cancer that I couldn't help but learn some coping mechanisms.  I realized that the same stress management techniques that I've learned from others and discovered on my own will work for any life issue.  How about that?  Something about this cancer stuff that is multipurpose!

So, what have I learned about stress management?

1.  I need to admit that I am stressed out.  I don't have to know exactly why I am stressed, but I have to know that I am.  Once I admit to the stress, the reason for the stress becomes apparent.  If I don't admit that I am stressed, I may go along with no idea why I feel so bad and no way to resolve it.  As soon as I feel that familiar feeling of stress building, I admit it to myself and someone that is close to me.  I admit to stress without self judgement - that part is important.

2.  I pray.  That sounds simple and it is.  Prayer prior to panic eliminates panic.  Without panic, stress has very little to hold on to.  Reading my Bible keeps me close to God and maintains my equilibrium. I will also ask my friends to pray for me.  Never underestimate the power of prayer.

3.  I use breathing exercises.  I take a slow, deep breath in through my nose. Then I slowly breathe out until I have no more air left in me.  I repeat this until calm returns.  I have found that it is not possible to remain stressed while using this breathing technique.

4.  I keep in touch with friends who understand.  I make sure that my support system is large.  I never know when I'm going to have a stress attack.  Having stress attacks is pretty normal for a cancer patient and it's also normal for people who are experiencing tough life issues.  When stress hits, I send an email, text someone or make a phone call.  I may have to try a few people before someone is available, but that's why I make sure to have a large support system.  I can say that I'm stressed out and I can say why. I try not to linger on that too long.  If there is nothing I can do about the reason for the stress, we talk about something totally unrelated.  That helps.

5.  I assign 20 minutes at a certain each day as Worry and Stress Time.  During that time each day, it is my job to worry about whatever is bothering me.  If I worry outside that designated time, I put it on my worry/stress list for attention during the Worry and Stress Time.  Okay, I admit that I am not always able to put off worrying, but that's why 1-3 are listed.

6.  I take a hot bubble bath.  My favorite way to get rid of stress is to take a hot bubble bath.  I keep cold sparkling water handy so I don't overheat.  Reading a good book while in the bath is also a great distraction.

7.  Ask a friend to stop over. Sometimes, nothing but a real live person can help with stress.  I have a number of friends who will drop what they are doing to come and visit with me until I feel ready to go on my own again.

These are a few of my stress management techniques.  Stress happens. Experiencing stress is not a weakness.  Learning to manage it can be an art.  Trying to handle it alone can be excruciating and I don't recommend it.  People need people - that's how we get through tough times.  I lean on my circle of trusted friends a lot and I hope that they will lean on me when the need arises.